i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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