And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
