chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
