oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
