And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
