it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
i've created a new STD.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
