he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
