Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
The air was thick with penises
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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