i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
