So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
