Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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