If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
