Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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