We got so high we made milksteak
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
