Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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