Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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