And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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