Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
My breasts were aching with rage.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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