I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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