Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
