i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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