he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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