a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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