Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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