I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
