i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
