and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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