what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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