Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
please don't ironically join a cult
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