Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
