dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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