i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
