I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
