I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
