my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
