Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just found puke in my bra..
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize