did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
