i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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