Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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