Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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