omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
