He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize