I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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