found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize