I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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