Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
