she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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