no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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