Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Floor bacon is actually really good
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
