You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
