She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
