Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
