New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
