maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
