atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
That reminds me...we need to get swords
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
