it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
