I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
