he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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