Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
