My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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