I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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